This smart-looking lady is Dr. Sheila Gilbert, M.D., Ph.D. That’s right, she went to school for a long time. That’s why she’s qualified to write a book to help you change your life, because she knows more than you do. So read it. And do what she says. That’s what Carly, Brooke and Lindsay are doing. And don’t you really really really want to be just like them.

This is Carly. She’s into self-improvement. She’s also into getting married, and she’s using her bride power to get her bridesmaids to work through Dr. Sheila Gilbert’s self-help book with her. Her friends are totally psyched about it. For real. Like, over the moon excited.

This is Lindsay. She’s recently (geologically speaking) been dumped by her downstairs neighbor Eduardo, and she’s doing fine. Really. She’s fine. Totally, totally fine.

This is Brooke. She’s really into her job. Like, really, really into it. And she’s totally fulfilled by it. She has everything she ever wanted. Really. She couldn’t be happier.

This is Greg. He’s in a band. Well, he thinks he’s in a band. It’s an air guitar band, but that totally counts. It’s just as cool as if he really played guitar. Truly. It is.

This is Eduardo. He used to date Lindsay, until he broke up with her. He’s an actor. He’s really great. Truly. He’s like the Latin Keanu Reeves.

This is Greg’s band, the Rape Monkeys. They’re really really good at what they do, which is pretend to play instruments. It totally looks like they actually playing, completely. Absolute verisimilitude, peeps.